As per a recent survey 48% of all Facebook users admit that they look at the pic of their ex too often. If you are single you could easily check in with yourself. When did you last look? I understand the need for this in the direct period after the breakup. It doesn’t do anything for you in terms of healing though. You are living past memories instead of focusing on the here and now.
Of course this is easier on paper than in real life. But finding closure is hard when you bring back old memories. It doesn’t matter if you still love or hate your ex. You want to become indifferent in order to heal and you are just giving power to your old thinking and feeling patterns.
You are going through some big changes in life. You have choices to make. You have plenty of options. Even though it is tough you could look at a break-up as an opportunity for personal growth.
You might start with asking yourself a set of questions and be very honest with yourself. Regardless of who and what caused the breakup:
- What where your shortcomings as partner in your last relationship?
- What did you learn about yourself and how you want to live your life?
- How can you avoid that your next relationship ends for the same reasons as your last one?
- How will your life be better?
- Where there any co-dependency issues you might want to address?